Love Lust Grindage, All my love xx Claire
by Alexis Harper Rose
Summary: A story of Claire and Quil, she is 22 and a bit emotionaly and lustly challenged, Quil is not as hormone addled but still a red blooded man. How much love lust and grindage can one pair have before they stop being so .....Stupid.
1. Labotomyshould I?

Why I need a labotomy

I had been avoiding going home for a week now, but I had really started missing my own bed _or his _I thought…_shut up brain, you don't know anything…Claire you Idiot I am you, I know what you're thinking. _As I rounded the corner I could see the two RV's that belonged to my house mates parked on the grass. My heart began to quicken, he was home.

Quil Ateara and I had been friends as long as I can remember, If you had to put an age to it, it would be twenty years, Quil had been there from the time I was two in so many different roles in my life, he was my brother, my best friend, my guardian, my body guard, my nurse, my disciplinary and _one hell of a piece of eye candy. _This right there is why I wanted a lobotomy, well not entirely that specific reason but in the past sixth months I have come to the realization that I am entirely in Love with Quil; Quil is perfection, I would be deeply mortified by his rejection and now being around him made me want to say such things that if I was to blurt it out it would mess everything up and this is why I had been avoiding him like the plague.

I pulled into the drive and parked, jumped out of truck onto the gravel and quickly trotted up the stairs, inhaled sharply, mentally preparing myself and opened the door. The lights were out, I exhaled, I was disappointed for a moment, before I was awash with relief.

Flicking the hall light on I made my way down the passage staring at the scratches on the polished floor, the kitchen lamp was on so I grabbed my mail off the Large 16 seated table, turned the kettle on and made my way to the living room.

Quil's house was huge, 4 bed three bathroom, on a half acre, with a massive, "For giant sized people" spa encompassed by a aircraft hanger, Ok I mean it was a porch but it looked big enough for an aircraft hanger to me. I plumped down on to the too big for normal people sofa's grabbing the remote off the armchair and flicking on the TV. I looked down at my mail…..bill, bill, rewards club, bill, an invitation to a fancy dress party for Ness, Bill and the last one was a surprise. I sucked in a deep breath and tore at the edge of the white envelope; it had the official Quillette insignia on the front. I unfolded the papers and began to read in my head but the final line I had to read out loud……

"We are pleased to inform you that a space has become available for a social worker at our current centre we would like to offer you the position of a qualified councilor and psychologist." ….

"Yes! You Beauty fuck the coffee!" I yelled, quickly forgetting the reason I was trying to be quiet. Oh well I don't care I have the perfect job in the perfect place and I do not have to commute 45 minutes every morning and an hour and a half every night!!!!

My house mates were not home, probably to do with some pack business. My house mates were in the famous "La Push Protectors" grouping, some deemed it a cult others a gang, but if you happened to be Quillette you happened to be privileged and you knew they were protectors and brave werewolf warriors who protected everyone on the reservation from the cold ones, or Vampires as pale faces liked to call them .The legends dated back to thousands of years I had heard them all since what could only be deemed as the beginning of time, my life same story you know. I could see how the pack could be socially misconstrued; it is rather hard to digest a group of 6'4 plus men and one woman who moved in synchronization with each other, who rarely socialized with the rest of the populace deciding rather to interact with their "brothers". They were all tall, all physically strong all physically imposing with large muscled frames which was hard to avert your eyes form considering they never wore shirts , all russet colored, all with black hair shorn close to the scalp in a unified front, all ridiculously good looking and yet too intimidating for the general public. Those who hadn't imprinted found it hard to get a lay. Most people were terrified however, I was not, I knew exactly what in this world and the make believe to be afraid of and my brothers were not something I feared.

Seeing as they were not home and I could put away my panic and stop hiding for the most part, I decided to make use of my time alone to do what every hard working 22 year old girl would do. Order some pizza, grab some beer and paint my toe nails. First of all I had to shower I still had vomit on me from work today.

My mind wondered over the thoughts of today ….


	2. Puke All in a days work

**Puke .... all in a Days work**

I worked at Port Angeles for the moment as a social worker for runaway teens, today like every other day was trying. I had finally thought I was getting through to Ray; he had been clean and off the crack for three months, far longer than previous attempts. He, however, had decided in the last week or so that alcohol would become the new addiction. I went to his little crappy apartment on the ghetto like side of the city, I had just pushed him fully clothed in the shower as he was late again for another appointment and he needed to sober up to get this job pronto. I had brought along a set of clothes I had purchased this morning for him to where to this interview, I laid them on the bed and turned my back, I wasn't leaving the room so he could get back into bed. I did his tie and shooed him to the car, he started looking a little green and instead of winding down the window proceeded to puke all over the front of my Chanel blouse. I couldn't really get mad what was the point, plus it wasn't the real emotion I had been feeling.

I was disappointed.

I couldn't know what it was like for Ray, I had come from a nuclear family yes, Dad was not around much yes, but my sister, my mum and I were happy fully functioning members of society. My child hood was happy, so what if one week every school vacation we had to spend it with Dad, Skye and I were still extremely happy.

Just like mine and Skye's, Ray's dad had left when he was young. That's where the similarities ended. Ray's mum and Dad were not getting along greatly and there were questions of the paternity of Ray. Apparently his mother wasn't the most monogamous person in the world. It didn't matter to Ray's dad too much he stilled loved Ray like his own bur Ray pushed him away.

Ray's mum didn't take the separation too well, she got depressed and would blame her unhappiness on Ray; when she was too depressed to get out of bed she would blame it on Ray; when she got up and out of bed and wouldn't come home for days she would blame it on Ray. She blamed Ray for her heroin abuse, shooting up in front of the poor kid while he was having breakfast, asking him to hold the tourniquet while telling him it was his fault she was addicted. When she started bringing random men home and she would get beaten and he in turn would also be beaten for trying to defend his mother she still blamed him. This went on for years, Ray's father kept in contact and tried but he felt so much bitterness towards his Dad that he couldn't have anything to do with him.

Things got really bad.

One Day, Ray had come home from school and was just getting a snack, when he heard raised voices from the other room, Ray's mum came running out trying to get away from her latest trick by hiding behind Ray. Things were said he looked at his mum she pleaded with him to get the guy the hell out. The guy pushed his buttons and something inside Ray snapped. He grabbed the guy who now had taken a swing at him, threw him out the door, kicking him down the stairs and set on him with his fists, breaking his cheeks, nose, jaw; He got up when the rage surpassed him only to hear his mother screaming at him ungrateful for the save and extremely pissed off that she wouldn't get her money now;

She kicked him out.

Ray gathered what he had, started sleeping in the parks, befriended one of the young wayward shits for kids that had run away form home and was initiated into the PA Brothers. Which was a gang; he spent from fourteen to eighteen, selling drugs, doing drugs, robbing places and getting into fights. He had developed a reputation by the time he was 16 into being one of the biggest bad asses around. He had taken over the PA B's as head of the brothers. By eighteen he had a wrap sheet a mile long, with words, like trafficking, aiding and abetting, aggravated self defense, assault, deadly weapons; the list went on. He was on some sort of high; he thought it was the thrill of his life.

Then it all came crashing down, all over territory apparently he moved in on the wrong street. He was taken down in an unfair fight 10 to one with a rival gang. He was found by two kids walking home from school strewn across their front step. Bleeding and left to die. He had been beaten within an inch of his life. He had lost 6 teeth, had a fractured eye socket a broken jaw, all of his ribs where broken along with his collar bone, his leg was shatter from the ankle down, a punctured lung and one of his fingers had been cut off. Surprisingly he pulled through though he required a lot of surgery and physiotherapy and eventually he was fine. However he discharged him self 4 months in to his stay got high and continued to do so. He had been pulled up by a cop and forced into rehab it all looked promising when he came out. I had been assigned his case; I had gotten him somewhere to live, a sponsor, countless job interviews and spent countless hours on the phone or in person listening to him cry. Whoever said that men shouldn't cry is an ass it takes a big man to cry and to be what he has been through to strip away some poor kid's innocence in such a stage of their life. You just can't judge.

Until last week everything had looked up until Ray's mother had shown up.

I hadn't heard from him all week and this is why I turned the car around, not bothering to listen to his apologies, flipped my phone out and apologized to the job provider we were meeting with, stating that Ray was in fact too ill and I think he needed the day in bed.

He was still apologizing when I parked the car at the curb got out and told him to get inside and get the cleaning products. I came back inside saw his mum at the table shooting up and lost it.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HIS HOUSE YOU EVIL BITCH AND DON"T YOU EVER COME BACK".

She just glared at me, "I'll leave after my son makes me leave and he wouldn't want to do that seeing as he has screwed up my whole life and left me with nothing this isn't something huge for him to do. I am his mother he should finally do right by me."

"IF YOU HAVE NOT GOT YOUR LIFE TOGETHER BY NOW OLD WOMAN IT AIN'T GOING TO HAPPEN, THIS POOR KID HAS PUT UP WITH YOUR SHIT ENOUGH, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE NOW AND DO NOT BURDEN HIS DOOR AGAIN. YOU HAVE SET BACK HIS PROGRESS HE HAD PULLED HIMSELF FROM THE SHIT YOU HAD IMPOSED ON HIM SINCE HE WAS BORN AND HE WAS WORKING TOWARDS A FUTURE. YOU MADE HIM DRINK, YOU MADE HIM FUCK UP AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO PAY".

I screeched lunging around the table and grabbing the woman by the hair and pulling her outside, I had copped a smack or so in the face, but I was so mad I couldn't register any pain. I threw her down the stairs, then went inside and grabbed all her stuff and threw it on the lawn, she was carrying on with expletives at me, I had calmed down as much as I could and spoke in a voice barely audible.

"You will not come here again, you will not hurt him anymore, you will leave never to come back and if you do not, I will call the police and have you escorted from the premises, if that does not have the desired effect, I will take you down myself.

"NOW FUCK OFF!"

She gathered her things and started walking. I turned to Ray who was now crying at the stairs, he looked at me a small sad smile on his baby face. "No one has ever stood up for me, I am so sorry I will try harder, I cannot let you down again". He put his arms out to me and I held him while he cried big heaving tears. When he had calmed down enough I had told, "You will try your hardest and YOU will never let ME down again".

I had flushed the heroin down the toilet and cleaned and tipped all the booze down the kitchen sink, I left him to sleep.

I tried not to bring my work home but I am a compassionate an emotive person. The water felt good on my aching shoulders I couldn't help letting out a sigh.

Shutting the water off and wrapping a towel around myself I made my way to my room across the hall on the second floor. Embry's door was closed he must be sleeping or something. My bedroom door was ajar which was weird but I though nothing of it, until I flipped the light on and saw the note on the bed. I bent down and read the note out loud;

Hey Pocahontas,

( a nickname I have had since I was six due to the fact I was sick of being called Caire-bear by the pack, I had told Embry I wanted a new name and that he should address me as Princes Pocahontas Running Bear, much too everyone's amusement, nevertheless it had stuck!)

Read your mail, sorry! Congrats we are really happy for you.

Love Embry

xxxx

Next to it was a bunch of flowers. It was hard to be mad at that. I quickly ducked down to the first floor putting in the flowers into a vase, made my way to the closet and pulled out jeans and a white sweater. I was feeling fairly hungry now so I went to get the pizza and beer. I had bumped into Seth who was another of the brothers and he told me he had heard and congratulated me about fifty times, I invited him back for a slice and a bit of a drink. He ordered more Pizza and told me he would meet me there saying he just had to make a call.

I had gotten home and was now parked in front of a TV in a pair of black sweats and a tight white ever last singlet I had already digested half a pizza and was on my second beer when I hear a loud "woot woot" and several pairs of feet come up from the hall way. _Sethe your are a prick _I thought. _Our house was going to become a fucking fraternity AGAIN!._.

"Hope you don't mind Pocahontas, we thinks its time to party", Seth exclaimed, "Party on Embry!"

"Party on Seth"

"It's Embry's world, Embry's world, Party time excellent". They chorused.

Then Embry Dove over the back of the couch put his head in my lap and Smiled.


	3. Imprinting, 362436, not on my booty

Chapter Three

When Embry Call smiled like that it was easy to see why girls like him, his dimples, his full lips, button nose and strong jaw line were so incredibly hot, his chocolate eyes could make any girl melt and his smile was irresistible. Like the rest of the pack he was tall and muscular broad and ripped, with the russet skin tones fitting to the quillettes, he was the shortest at 6'4, and when he opened his mouth you could tell why so many girls had broken their hands on his jaw. He was a sleaze but he was nothing but family to me. I still got to hear his random comments and he made everyone fully aware when I started to grow breasts but it was nothing sexual between us, he just liked to tease me. He looked up at me grinning "So Pocahontas, how about you change into something a little more …..Comfortable, I did your washing the other day; I think the pink teddy would work wonders on you". He teased.

I blushed and tried squirming to get the giant off me; he chuckled at my attempts, rolled off the couch on to his knees and looked at me. "get changed and come out the back, we can't have the newest psyche and councilor of La Push looking like a bag lady in front of the masses now can we?". I stuck my tongue out and continued to sit there, that's when he grabbed me in too fast for human eyes speed, swinging me over his shoulder and racing me down the hall way, with me screaming "put me down, put me down, put-me-down!", all the way up the stairs. He lowered me on to the bed in a sitting position hugged me and congratulated me before saying "10 mins otherwise I'll bring up Seth". I groaned audibly.

He chuckled but left.

I raced to find something to wear, Seth was another of the pack, who was only slightly taller ( by a inch) and was sort of thinner in comparison, his mind however was dirty and while he was over thirty, I could not help but let comparisons to horny teenagers enter my mind, if anything he was worse. I loved him all the same. _The Big Butt Head_.

I finally pulled out a pair of tight black dress pants that hugged my hips and thighs and dropped in skinny to my feet, then to further accentuate my hour 36, 24, 36 I selected a nice tight ruby red ballerina top that pushed my bust out just that little bit more though I know I really didn't need the help. I let my glossy black hair fall down to my waist, twisting a few strands to add something, brushed my fringe with a comb, adding a hint of lip gloss and some mascara and a little black eyeliner to my eyes. I found my Red spiked 3 inch heels which took my height to a 6'2. I would slip them on at the bottom of the stairs. I strolled into the kitchen to get a beer out of the fridge, and taking the cap off I came outside. In one group standing out past the "air craft hanger" was the pack, Jacob & Ness, Seth, Leah, Jarred & Kim, Uncle Sam the chief and my aunt Emily, Rachel & Paul, Embry, Collin, Brady and of course the reason I needed the lobotomy…..Quil Ateara standing around the bonfire. I could see that there were more people there a couple of people I had gone to high school with a couple of friends of Kim's, a couple of people here there and everywhere.

For once the pack had surprised me, apart from Leah, they usually went around shirtless, tonight they were all fully clothed with nice tight dress shirts, and Jeans, Quil was looking exceptionally gorgeous in a Black tight dress shirt and a pair of blue wash easy _but tight around the ass_ jeans. Oh the things I wanted to do with that boy. _Shut the fuck up brain don't start, now's not the time. Really Claire... Then when will the time be? Brain you __**know**__ where in my room, under the strenuous strain of my wrist you twit. Don't make this difficult, I will get drunk… oh yeah all the more easier to blurt out something, ….yeah well I wont take any aspirin in the morning if you keep this shit up …well I , you , um Touché!_

I wondered over to my family, all stopping to look at me and cheering loudly, I bowed and that's when Quil came over to me all six foot 7 of beautifully sculpted man meat, smelling so fucking delicious. He squished me in a tight embrace, I couldn't help it when he looked down I had to kiss him, _oh god, please don't come near me with those sexual lips, a girl can only hold out so long….Damn straight….SHUT UP BRAIN NOW IS NOT THE TIME…. Come on Claire we only need to stretch just a little bit, don't fight it, we can work together. _My brain and my conscience struggled on. Quil however just looked at me perplexed and gave me a kiss on the head. _Anticlimax factor. _

" Are you okay Claire-Bear?", Quil asked

"Umm, Yeah just … Excited", I splurted out.

"Fair enough", Quil continued, " Hey, you haven't really been around much lately, is everything okay with you in general".

"Oh yeah", I tried to fake him out, "Just been really busy with work, and the drive home I have been staying at Dad's, you know trying to make up for the fact I didn't take his advice or money and continue my psyche crap".

"hmmm, yeah I talked to Lana this week she said that he has begun talking to you again" He informed me.

"yeah he is still pretty pissed about the whole wasted youth advanced courses starting uni at 16 and not finishing the masters". I stated , " He still thinks that I should have continued, his main argument is that I am lucky I would be finishing my masters just when the people my age just started at College, I have been doing the recommended dose of sucking up and playing nice with Gloria and that seems to have alleviated him".

"well that explains the nine to five and the 5 till 9 what about the 9to five in reverse?" He asked.

"Well, I do need to socialize".

"party up". He cut me off grinning

"Hey a girls gottadowhatagirlsgottado!" I stated grinning like a moron.

"ooohhh ahhh and would this partying include a little Matty Statty?" he asked , still grinning but with an undertone I could not place at all. What was he playing at.

" I have not seen nor heard from Matt in months, I don't plan to ." I snorted, It was easy to get my back up with Quil sometimes,

"sure sure". He teased but he let it drop.

We stood there facing each other in silence _Now's the time, jump him now bitch. Brain I have already told you….Come on Claire, we need it your wrist is going to get carpal tunnel soon. _My inner struggle was starting to win out in this minute, I opened my mouth to say something only to hear the telling tale of sir mix a lot and a loud

"Oi ! Claire get your sexy Gucci 36 24 36 over here and shake it while we make it now BITCH!'. Right now at this very very nano second is when I have decided I am totally loving My best friend Katie Lahona. I made my way over to by shaking my hips out shouting "I like big butts and I can not lie…" in excact timing with the song . Katie was standing with two beers in either hand one to her mouth and one held out toward me, already grinding it in a group of male followers that parted whilst I made my way over.

We really went for it dancing and jutting out our butts while rapping the lines and making asses of ourselves. Katie was wearing a figure hugging tight as blue dress which was slowly creeping up her ass due to how miniscule it really was. Katie was 24 tal and native American looking with shoulder length dark hair big "boy loving" lips, Jutting hips, tight booty long legs, boobs from here to Mexico and the most alluring emerald green eyes. Katie was part quillete part Irish, strange combo but exotic. She was the same height as me but a size smaller and the girl broke hearts without intention every time she walked. Not that I am jealous I could pull like the best of them, and I was quite pretty but she was something else. She was was the female equivalent of Embry fitting because they had imprinted the first day I had brought her home a year ago and now there was no more floozing from either of them. It was funny they were still flirtatious with everyone but seeing them together like right now was amazing. They had love and lust and all things included written all over those darling faces of theres. There was never any jealousy but always a strong unspoken inactive to us un imprints possessiveness to their moves. They were like all imprints perfect for each other and with that simple thought I chugged my beer down scared crapless booty shaked my heart out reached out and yelled "refreshment!" To Embry who was now dancing up and basically dry humping Katies leg, he nodded smacked her ass and wandered off.

It wasn't the fact that watching a pair of Imprints was disturbing to me It was the fact that any day now I could lose Quil to that. Not that he was mine and ever thought of me that way but the simply that Imprinting was soul mates a perfect half and then I couldn't have him which kind of meant all my current wishing and hoping and pretending will be null and void. According to legend the werewolf finds his other half by rare phenomenon called imprinting, to break it down in laymans, it's a huge ass pull felt when you lock eyes with your intended, your soul mate, your perfect match. I have never experienced it but both halves do. In that moment you both realize that you are each others everything, there is no specifications to it. You love that person wholeheartedly, you want that person to be happy, you want that person to be loved, you want to be loved by that person and most of all you feel the same thing. Imprints usually have marital relationships on meeting but the intended become what ever they both need. In saying this I mean if your in need of a shoulder to cry on your instantly granted that, if you need a lover your granted that, if you need a best friend you are granted that, anything you need at that time, your perfect half gives you that. Eventually you both feel the need to procreate (I am guessing) and that's how you have marital imprinted bliss. Which is what I will be witnessing in oh say a month when I have to be Katies bridesmaid at her and Embry's wedding, something I am happy to do but something that keeps bringing up the sinking feeling I will have to be happy to see Quil with his other half one day.

"Here ms new booty".Embry put a glass of wine in my hand and winked nodded knowingly. _I take this glass and raise you a sculling comp bitch two more of these babies and I am everyone s ho fo sho. _I am complete nut on wine this is going to be messy my friends want me to party. I took the drink chugging it back to grab the Jager bomb in his hand and shot that and let out a big "WHOOOT".

"Thatta girl poca get into it , the parties only just begun!". As if to cue it on P!nks 'Get this Party started" blasted out of the speakers set up on the porch. Katie and I looked at each other nodded and assumed the position. Grabbing on to the nearest guy, which just so happened to be Quil this time. _Woah girl we is going to shake that shit_


	4. Table top, Black boots and black marker

**Table tops, Black boots and Black marker.**

Quil looked surprised and somewhat flustered but I went to auto pilot giving the best fuck face I could muster before I turned around and gave him a once over that I clearly could ,now that I was uninhibited due to my shot of liquid courage and the beers and the wine and so on. I felt him bump out of his shyness and he slowly started to respond. I was grinding up against him slid into a groove to bend and touch the floor placing my ass at his crutch and gently brushing it. I quickly turned around to look at him but before I died of shame I winked and sauntered off to Katie to continue some girl on girl grindage. This is why Embry encouraged the free use of alcohol. I was Grinding away till the song stopped and melted into something stupid and slow. I used this to my advantage pulling on my friend Aidan and challenging him to the scull for all contest.

Now sculling isn't very lady like and well, in college I was anything but Lady like. I had managed to out scull with skill. I was fast I was accurate and I always won. Don't ask me how I learnt but I will say my gag reflex has really encouraged me to be the alco-loving whore I am today.

After three rounds of sculling and a promise of a rematch, as I had taken the prize title again, I decided it was now time to eat something. I looked quickly to the table on the porch to fill my hunger with something greasy. Looking up I saw Quil standing next to Embry, shaking his head lightly with a resigned smile planted on his face. Embry looked at me with awe. I did the only thing I could do at this time I winked and flipped them the bird which resulted in them both spitting there beer out laughing loudly.

I managed to stuff my face with a whole pepperoni pizza, belched and made my way over to Katie. Katie was sitting on a log close to the fire drinking wine out of the bottle. We got into a semi heated discussion about table dancing, she offered me the bottle and in the next few minutes it was gone. Katie went to take one last sip tipping the bottle upright to get the very last drop. She then looked at me with a confused expression and said "Fuck, this bottle has got a whole in it". Followed by both of us laughing.

It kind of got a little fuzzy after that, I remember a little but not quite as much. There was definitely some table dancing by Katie and I, we both fell off causing hysterical laughter throughout. I think I saw someone blowing chunks on some girls skirt. A little more dancing, some weird fraternity rituals, more food and then the obligatory drunken early morning love declarations. Which consisted of Katie ,Embry Seth and me declaring how much we loved each other. It usually went something like this.

"Katie', With me starting, "I love you man".

"Claire I love you man."

"No Katie, I really love you man".

"NO! Cla-aire, I LOVE , YOU man".

"Hey hey throw some this way," Seth

"what about me ." Embry

"Yeah we love you mans!". Katie and I chourus

"we love you too girls." Embry and Seth chime.

"why do you always gotta fuck it up you two". I say

"Yeah we love you mans". Katie finishes.

It will usually go on for a few more minutes, its not very coherent more slurred, and then Someone will pass out or get up to go to bed.

I guess this time I passed out, because the next thing I know I am waking up looking around the room, which is not mine.

I pull up the sheet up…

I am naked ….

with my black heeled fuck me boots on

…..In Quil's bed.

I have a major headache. But something black and smudged caught my attention..

I look under the sheet again and I have I love Q.A in black marker with a smiley face written across my breast…..

the worst thing is that directly under it says "Please fuck me now?".

CRAP! I know nothing has happened, I don't have any odd feelings between my legs, Quil would never taken advantage of me in my state.

I am still shocked and I am now feeling so ashamed and over anxious. _What have I done, what have I done. He is never going to want me now._

My eyes feel really heavy now, I let out a sob, I feel some weight shift besides me.

Quil is looking at me frowning.

_What the hell have I done? _


	5. 7 minutes, women lie, naked

**FOR THE RECORD I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE TWILIGHT SERIES THEY ALL BELONG TO THE GREAT ONE WHO WROTE SOME SERIOUSLY GOOD STUFF. I WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO THAT NOR DO I INTEND TO HOWEVER I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT I DECIDED TO WRITE SOMETHING REALLY CRAPPY WITH THOSE CHARACTERS TO EXPLORE THE ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES.**

**BLESS YOU MISS **

* * *

**7 Mins of my life I will never get Back**

**Chapter 5**

**QPOV**

"I think Claire has been avoiding us". I stated

" Maybeor maybe its not avoidance at all…. Maybe, Pocahontas has a secret boyfriend". Embry teased, he had only said this to get a rise and well, it worked.

"piss off Embry, replace the fuse and get out of here".

I had been working on some cars today in the garage of QEJ mechanics, a business I ran with my two friends Embry Call and Jacob black. Jacob and I were really good with the mechanics but Embry Call was good at the electrics.

As I continued tinkering around the engine I couldn't help but wonder whether or not there was a little bit of truth the what Embry had said. I had a rare surge of jealousy….no not jealousy, longing. After all I know Claire, and well I know she has gone on dates with guys and been with men, but I also know that she feels nothing for them. I know this because we are imprinted and to be perfectly honest she has told me a million or so times.

I have loved Claire since she was two, I have loved her a a sister until she was 13 and a best friend from then on.

Claire and I have talked about everything, even the things deemed rather embarrassing, I was privy to her confidance in me. I knew how she felt about men or rather that she didn't feel for men. She thinks there is something wrong with her as she has no actual desire to be with any of them and has no romantic feelings for them. I dare say that is because of the imprinting but I haven't the heart to tell her until she is ready to know it and ready to love me the way I love her.

Don't get the wrong idea but wouldn't you rather someone love you because they know themselves they were made for you, rather than telling them you were made for each other effectively influencing that person with the knowledge. It would be like never having a choice and just doing something because you were told to do. Selfish of me but also maschoistic in the same breath.

I should tell you that I loved her like a best Friend . Until 6 months ago. Now I was completely in love with that fiery, witty, fun, beautiful, party hard, work harder, kind, smart and charismatic, 22 year old Claire. It must be getting close to time, because well we are supposed to be whatever we need at some point. I am sure she will fall for me…..soon.

This has all just set me off on another tangent. I know it's not another guy, I am aware that Claire has been with men, I was the first one she told. She did not have feelings for men but she had hot horny feelings for sex, she was no slut choosing to only see one guy at a time but she was some what insatiable. We are/were best friends I couldn't be mad or jealous because that wasn't what she wanted. It never seemed to worry me before I myself had had my fair share of chicks and did up until about 6 months ago.

When Claire lost her virginity she was 16 at the time. Her friends were all boy crazy and even though she was not one of the crowd she relented to a very persistent Thomas Huck. Just so she could say she was dating and just so she could say at least she tried. She had confided in me a few weeks earlier that she had no desire to have a boyfriend and while she didn't think she was a lesbian she didn't have any romantic feelings toward men. It had made us both laugh.

The weekend she had accepted to go out with Tom they were headed to a party. She got me to drop her off and was going to stay at a friends house that night. I went on patrol when I get home. I got home at about 2 the next morning , to find Claire, in my bed watching tv with one of my ice hockey jerseys on. She looked at me and had a tired smile. I was a little surprised to see her there and gently prodded her to tell me why her clothes were no where to be seen and why half her make up was down her face.

She told me very matter of factly that her clothes were in the washing machine trying to get the stench of shame out of them. She was laughing a bit but soon told me that she had used this opportunity to investigate her virginity and then the disappearance of it. I was a little concerned and willing to kill the guy for making her cry but she just said "Quil it's out of the way now, I wanted, it didn't hurt, it didn't last long and well it will be 7 mins of my life I will never get back".

I was a little shocked at that. She continued to tell me that the make up was smudged because well she was disappointed and thought that all women lied about sex and if that was how it always was she could see why women all ways used the head ache excuse.

We both laughed I assured her it would get better.

And obviously she had tried it out a few more times after that, but she still never felt anything towards any man and well I was beginning to wonder if she would feel anything for me.

She had to be avoiding us for a reason other than she had met a boy because she had not changed that dramatically that she would now have some feelings for them, could she?

I decided to go for a run. I was just getting home when Embry decided to phone me to tell me Claire had just gotten that position at the local comm. Centre. I was beyond proud of that girl. He had told me that Claire had been home and gone out and bumped into Seth. Seth had called looking for a party. Claire was always up for them.

I got home showered, and pulled on what ever I could find. People had arrived and were congregating in the front yard. I really hope that Matt Shitty person would not be there lately with his incessant flirting with Claire I was bound to burst and knock him the hell out. I had started talking to Sam about some new phone gadget he had aquired. When I had stopped mid sentence.

There coming down the stairs was the reason I lived for. She was so beautiful and sexy in an uncomplicated low maintenance way. She had on minimal make eye make up and just enough lip gloss to enhance her beautiful cock sucking lips. Her long dark hair was out on this occasion which was becoming seemingly rare. Her chest was heaving slightly her large bust was accentuated by the red ballet top she had and her hips and legs were elongated by her tight tight tight black pants. She was wearing red High heels, causing her sashay a little a bit more than normal over to our group. The best part was the smell she smelt so absolutely beautiful mouthwatering it was like earth and rainforest and lilies.

She did a little bow to something someone had said traded a hug with someone else. I wasn't paying much attention but to her eyes. I had to talk to her. I walked over and hugged her, eyeing in her form below me, I had the sudden urge to kiss her on those full lips letting the kiss grow and taking her where she stood regardless of the people around us. Embry let out a sigh then and brought me from my fantasies, so I left a kiss on her forehead. She seemed slightly displeased. We talked for a bit I don't even remember what was said then came the tell tale signs of that freaking song, followed by the sequential sound of Katies voice. I looked down and she was gone.

The rest of the night past in a haze, I danced with her for sure, it surprised me she had never actually grinded me before and I was unbelievably turned . When she did that move grinding her Ass into my groin I was about to find my release, but she turned around winked at me and started grinding on Katie. Usually this would make me horny tonight I felt slightly jealous of Katie's thigh wishing it was my mine. Well not exactly my thigh but you get the picture don't you .

I got exceedingly drunk as was given I spent most of the night with Embry watching the drunken yet far from predictable antics of Katie and Claire. They really were hilarious and most of the night was spent laughing and drinking. The end of the night came the ritual of the "I love you man" that was between Claire, Katie, Embry and Seth. It usually ended with someone passing out or getting up to signal the rest to go to bed.

I was actually kind of tired so I decided Claire was in safe hands and went to bed.

Obviously this wasn't quite what the other had in mind they crept up the stairs and bolted to the stairs laughing and whispering past my room to the theatre room upstairs. I could here them watching a dvd as I drifted off to sleep. I could hear laughter and low discussions taking place. I thought I heard my door open and felt someone at the bed but I was out by then.

I woke with a start the next morning to a sob, I sat bolt upright and was amazed at the sight. Sitting right next to me in **my **bed was Claire. I looked at her cofused and slightly amused by her current state of dishelvness and when I looked closer I could see through the sheet being thin the only thing she had on was boots. I became more than a little aroused . In an instant I thought I had better keep it off my face.

I sat there just looking at he in all her sheet glory at this beautiful beautiful woman who I loved so much it hurt. I couldn't say anything. I surpassed my arousal by thinking that this is what it should be this is what I have always wanted. For Claire to be naked between my sheets with me in Our bed. I felt everything feeling I had for her magnified by ten fold. I really needed her to know how I felt . I needed to say something.

She moved to get off of my bed. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let her go without telling her I needed her. If she rejected me fine but not now.

She started stuttering "s-s-s Sorry, I must have gotten so drunk and though this was my bed ", mumbling the end of the sentence.

I was still completely stunned. I opened my mouth to say something but what could I say.

At exactly that moment she mumbled another apology and got up out of the bed, wrapping the sheet around her and moving to the door. I bolted naked to the door lunging just before she got there.

"Claire…I ….Claire I think you should go get changed.".

Anti Climax of the century.

* * *

**Thank You so much for your interest in my story. I really like the reviews I have read, you all have been very nice and I am surprised by interest. Initially I wrote this story because I felt the stories I had read about a 16 yr old Claire sleeping with a 30 something Quil was a bit off putting. Then when I really thought about it, it wasn't just that, Claire in those stories hadn't lived very much out of High school and I am sure that there is more to her life then pom poms, gossip and puppy love. I also feel like this is my interpretation of impinting. To further elaborate on that if my explanation in earlier chapters isn't suffice. Impinting means to me your exact perfect mate, one heat shared equally by two people. Nothing can cause hurt, jealousy, confusion or lack of trust if the two halves are on the same page. After all to be a perfect mate is to be what ever the other needs. I know there doesn't seem so much love written so far but there has been a lot of lust. I sort of glimpsed at some sort of love that Quil has for claire in this chapter but I will futher elaborate in thier big discussion. I hope to write the next chapter tonight. I also hope that there is a significant difference between the two characters. Quil should not seem so controlled by hormones and be a bit more confident and more protector as he should boys are men eventually.**

**Ciao for now**

**xxx**


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